For a long time, I felt like I was always a little behind.
Waiting for someone to get back to me. Waiting for a better moment to bring something up. Waiting for things to become clearer before making a move.
Being passive bought me time. If I didn’t ask, I didn’t have to deal with the answer yet. If I didn’t set a date, I didn’t have to commit.
It felt easier in the moment. But everything took longer than it needed to.
Then I reread Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And the first habit stuck with me: Be proactive.
Take responsibility for your next move. Put your energy into what you can influence.
I started applying that to everything.
I ask questions. I follow up. I book the appointment. I reach out first. I bring up the thing that needs to be discussed.
Sometimes people wake up to a message from me with the plan already laid out. They know what I’m doing, what I need from them, and what happens next.
Taking the first step
Here’s a simple example from my work.
I’d sent drafts to a client and needed their feedback to finish the job. In the past, I would have waited for them to get back to me.
This time, I followed up:
“If you can send me your feedback by noon tomorrow, I can have this finished by the end of the day.”
Now they had a clear deadline and knew exactly what I could deliver if they met it. I’d given the project a next step.
That’s the shift I’ve made across my life. Now I’m the one moving things forward. I set the pace, and things happen faster because I take the first step.
The biggest relief? I no longer carry that nagging feeling that someone is waiting on me. Waiting for an answer, a decision, or something I said I’d do.
I’ve already reached out. They know the plan. And I can get on with it.
Making proactivity your default
But getting there took effort.
At first, it was exhausting. I had to consciously push myself to send the message, make the call, or bring something up. Every time, my old instinct was to leave it for later.
For me, it took a few weeks, two, three, maybe four, before that switch really flipped.
Then it started running almost on autopilot. Taking the initiative became my default, and it took far less energy to keep doing it.
Three ways to be proactive today
If you recognize yourself in that habit of waiting, here are three things you can do today:
1. Follow up on one thing you’ve left hanging.
Open your messages. Find something that matters and hasn’t moved forward. Send a short, specific follow-up: “Can we confirm this by Thursday?” or “What do you need from me to take the next step?”
2. Turn one intention into an appointment.
Pick something you keep saying you’ll do. Book the appointment. Suggest a time to meet your friend. Put your next workout in your calendar and arrange what you need to make it happen.
3. Share the plan before someone has to ask.
Take one thing you’re responsible for at work or at home. Tell the people involved what you’re planning and when: “I’ll handle dinner tomorrow. I’ll get groceries after work, and we can eat at 6:30.” Give them something clear to respond to.
Start with one of these today. Tomorrow, do it again.
You’ll still have to wait for people sometimes. But you can make sure the next move isn’t sitting with you.
